Someone's...

My Little Ballerina

Ever since Livi saw the Man on Fire music video, she has done nothing but plie and jete her way through the house. Her clumsy attempts at gracefulness are nothing short of adorable. What I thought would be a passing phase became a constant source of entertainment. Eventually, her grandma got her a book about a little girl who starts to take a ballet class and soon after she was asking if she could take dance class. We found a studio that starts classes at 3 years old that is a half hour of ballet and a half hour of tap once a week. She's only been twice and I don't really know how long it will hold her fancy, but for right now the idea of wearing all pink and spinning around in a studio is pretty much the best thing ever.

Graduation

Full disclosure: I think having a proper graduation for PreKindergarten is a little bit on the ridiculous side. I did however, buy into it. He was just so excited and it turned out to be such a fun day. We bought him a little present and when he asked what we were celebrating I didn't really know how to answer. "We are celebrating all the hard work you.. uhh... well, we are celebrating that you are done with VPK and get to go to Kindergarten next year!" And honestly, any excuse to get this kid into a tie is one I will use. So damn cute!!!

When did he become a little man?

It's like... how does one handle this?

Did you notice the untucked shirt and dirt on the knees?

Troublemakers

He actually signed an end-of-year doll

Ms Naelor is the best!

Every kid had their nicknames written on the back of their certificate

Regret

One of the problems with announcing that you are pregnant to the world on the Internet is that you have to inform the Internet when things go wrong. It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. Looking back, I feel like the reason I announced the pregnancy so early was because some part of me felt uneasy about the whole thing, felt like it wasn't real. And maybe posting about it was a way for me to accept the reality and allow myself to enjoy it. But that obviously wasn't the right thing to do and only ended up biting me in the ass. I guess by now you have assessed that I am no longer pregnant. And you might find it shocking or weird or crazy that I am writing all this and being so candid about it. The truth is, letting things out for the world to see is one of the ways I deal with things. If I just let it all out there, it won't be stuck in me anymore. And everyone is going to find out sooner or later, right? Might as well be from me.

It happened Wednesday night, but the speculation started on Monday. I had a few days to consider that this might be happening so my mind had some time to adjust. It's been a roller coaster kind of month, but I just want everyone to know that we are ok. We really are. Everyone at the hospital was amazing and there was one doctor in particular that helped with me getting past this. We had been in the ER for about 8 hours enduring countless nurses and tests when a new doctor came in to explain some options. At the end he casually said, "You know this wasn't your fault. You didn't cause this." I must have had a puzzled face because he continued with "Some babies are just born with mutations and it isn't meant to be. If it didn't happen now, it would have happened later. But it would have happened and this isn't your fault." I am not sure such few words have ever impacted me more. With those few sentences, I felt peace. So many questions had been answered for me in the past few hours, but not the biggest one of all.

I also want to point out that this situation has brought to my attention how amazing our close friends and family are. We've already had meals made for us and the house cleaned. So much love and care and thoughtfulness will help you get through anything. Snuggling with 2 adorable kids and an awesome husband in the morning doesn't hurt either. So I do regret informing everyone so early about the pregnancy because now it's public and not a private affair, but I am thankful that it's all over and we can move on. And all I ask is that the people who know us make a mental note "Jessi not pregnant, got it" and just leave it be. I know everyone cares about us, but the less we have to hear about it or get asked if we are ok, the faster it becomes a memory and not a current issue we have to deal with. xoxo

Kindergarten

Liam has been terrified of graduating VPK because it means he will have to go to Kindergarten. Do you want to know why Liam is terrified of Kindergarten? Mathilda. Yes, Mathilda. As in the movie. I guess he watched it at school and became convinced that the children in Kindergarten were locked in closets by the principal. He asked me many times if he would have a principal and never really believed me when I told him she or he wouldn't behave that way.

So I knew open house was a must. This morning, Chris and I both went with him to tour the classrooms and meet the principal. Thank goodness this principal is a fan of goodie bags. By the end of the hour, Liam couldn't wait for Kindergarten to start. He literally skipped to the car.

When Life Throws You Lemons...

...you make lemonade.  Is it  not fair to refer to my unexpected unborn child as lemons? I suppose it is. Before I explain, let me start by saying... WE'RE PREGNANT!! I am currently 10 weeks pregnant and our due date is November 30th. Now back to the lemons. I say this because we had it all figured out. We were completely satisfied with two and were ready to get fixed. Every baby item we owned was given away. Now we didn't have to worry about getting a minivan or changing diapers or an extra college tuition. But life doesn't always care about your plans and apparently throwing caution to the wind ONE time can get you pregnant, who knew?

Now that we have had time to digest the news, we obviously couldn't be happier. It makes things a little messier, but messier is always more fun anyway. The kids are also really excited to get another sibling. When we told them, Liam got a big smile and said he hoped it was a boy cause he's always wanted a brother. Livi on the other hand said, "I just saw a puppy". It took her a little longer to get what we were telling her. Now Liam involves the baby in all conversations about our family. The other day I took a sip of Chris' beer and he popped his head up and exclaimed "Mommy! What about the baby!!!" Already being protective. Today he drew pictures of all of my children for my locket that I have promised for months to fill. I couldn't have done it better if I tried.

Strawberry Pickin'

This must have been like a month ago, but whatever. In an attempt to do something different on a weekend, we decided to take the kids strawberry picking. So we schlepped up to Boyton Beach  to Bedner Farms. I don't know if it's always this way or if we caught the tail end of the season, but most of the strawberries were kinda rotten and gross. That just made it that much more satisfying when we found a good one. My grand plan was to make a bunch of strawberry jam and be all homely and stuff. Instead, I was more Jessi-like and waited too long and ended up throwing the majority of it away. #MommyFail